I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
