no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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