I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
