u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
