Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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