Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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