i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I understand Curling. That high.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
