I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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