Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
