ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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