If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
the liver wants what the liver wants
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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