I want to stick my p in your. b.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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