im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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