Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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