Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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