nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
