Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
