He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
