Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
bring money and cleavage
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
