i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
