In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
