A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
