forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
