I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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