just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
