She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
time to smoke my breakfast
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
