Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I need water and some morals
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
