i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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