i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
do herpes really smell.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
