I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
