I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
