well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
