i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
