Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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