Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
