she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize