I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
