Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
