And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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