i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
