I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize