gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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