I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize