is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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