I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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