I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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