i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
