idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
