we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
