Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
