I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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