We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
