How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Actions speak louder than pants.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize