First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
