I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
