AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My day in three words: secret purse cake
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
