The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
