We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she looked like the before picture.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
