Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
