Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
