Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
