where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Randomize
